The Fuck Page

Disclaimer: the bulk of this page was written many, many years ago. I keep it here for purely historical purposes. Some of it might be a bit….ummmm…. Dated, by now!

fuck you; fuck the horse you rode in on; fuck your brother; fuck your mother; fuck the very roots of your family tree; fuck every person that is in a band; fuck every person that fucks a person in a band; fuck most beers, but especially fuck the one, the only, the fucking disgusting victorian bitter; fuck football and all sports; fuck religions; fuck right to life guilt trip commercials; fuck old cunts that stand on the corner out the front of the sturt mall handing out pamphlets about their religious beliefs trying to force the fucking shit down your throat even though it’s plain to see that noone gives a fuck and they should just go home and make sculptures out of their colostomy bags; fuck the fact that they do that while i’m trying to have a smoke outside work. bastards!; fuck racism; fuck taxi drivers that rip you off because you don’t know where you are; fuck studying; fuck failing; fuck fucking; fuck people who flinch when you say the word CUNT; fuck people who say the word cunt really loud just for shock value; fuck sleeping; fuck not sleeping; fuck real estate agents; fuck real estate agents; fuck real estate agents some more; did i mention, fuck real estate agents; fuck landlords; fuck credit cards; fuck free form introspective self indulgent masturbatorial jazz; fuck people that beat their girlfriends/wives; fuck space; fuck lack of space; fuck every stupid arsehole person i know and don’t know; fuck people that think the way to a successful relationship is to sleep around with as many people as possible; fuck people with tryhard charisma; fuck the queen; fuck prince charles; fuck the rest of the royal fucking family; fuck shaved apes; fuck snobs who think they’re better than me; fuck two faced friends; fuck condoms that are ribbed, for her pleasure; fuck plastic surgery; fuck stupidity; fuck elucidating; fuck ignorance; fuck intimidation; fuck imitation; fuck inherent stupidity; fuck selfishness; fuck working 50 years of your life for fuck-all money only to be told to fuck off at the end of it and being given a cheap gold watch for years of faithful service and having to settle for pottering around the house eating and gaining weight until you become a bloated sack of crap that has to suffer the indignity of wearing adult diapers because you lost the ability to control your bladder and/or bowels and you end up dying of congestive heart failure because you’re too fucking fat to move; fuck working in a shitty fucking job with shitty fucking pay that doesn’t even warrant hanging around for the shitty fucking gold watch; fuck call centres; fuck working in a call centre; fuck people that ring people that work in a call centre; oh, and fuck telstra customers; fuck cynicism; fuck shoes; fuck trousers; fuck smarmy patronising television hosts; fuck telstra customers some more; fuck the fact that the word fuck appears in this page more than 153 times; fuck ego; fuck the people that appear week after week in the ‘social pages’ of newspapers/magazines; fuck a-list celebrities; fuck b-list celebrities; fuckit, fuck all fucking celebrities; fuck people who think being a celebrity is a valid aspiration; fuck lying; fuck petrol prices; fuck cigarette prices; fuck the lottery; fuck the poor; fuck being poor; fuck loud smelly redneck yobbo fuckheads; fuck communist exams; fuck communists; fuck dirty coffee mugs with things growing in them; fuck 14 year old kids with winnuke and who have seen the movie ‘hackers’ one too many times who think that they are some amazing l33+0 |-|4>;<;0|2; fuck people who call themselves poets and write shit poetry (see: fuck you because i hate you like my father); fuck the fact that the vic is (a) full of teenybopper just-turned-18 fuckwits, (b) resonating with the w00d-causing sounds of top40 music, and (c) FUCK THE FACT THAT WHEN I WALK IN THERE, FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON, I FEEL LIKE I'M ABOUT 40 FUCKING YEARS OLD!!!!!!!! er.. *ahem*; fuck the fact that I am a hell of a lot closer to 40 at the moment than I was when I initially wrote that last sentence - 12 fucking years ago - fuck you, life; fuck television; fuck sports on television - football, that is. fuck, get a fucking life and stop watching meatheads use a small ball as an excuse to fondle each other; fuck the state of origin; fuck the military; fuck derryn hinch; fuck the cops; fuck daytime soap operas; fuck parents; fuck procrastination; fuck stupid people that think they know more than you; fuck hypocrisy; fuck mickey mouse; fuck parliament house; fuck mcdonalds; fuck hungry jacks; fuck burger king; fuck kfc; fuck every form of fast food; fuck wannabe hackers; fuck desks that are overcrowded; fuck everyone that reads this and thinks i'm an idiot; fuck the greasy spoon; fuck rivcoll; fuck the dim sims and chiko rolls floating in the bain marie; fuck decaffienated tea; fuck the university computer centre; fuck the joke of a data service the university provides; fuck hollywood; fuck bullshit stereotypical hollywood movies; fuck bikies that follow you and whinge about what you did to infringe upon their own personal piece of road in a whiney, wheedling voice; fuck styrofoam; fuck everyone that's ever given me shit; fuck everyone that laughs and talks about me behind my back; and for good measure, FUCK CELEBRITY; fuck the media; fuck drugs; fuck everyone that can't see how lucky they are; fuck alcohol; fuck abusing children; fuck animals; fuck dogs that drool a lot and are obsessed with chasing tennis balls; fuck cars; fuck shit car stereo systems; fuck shit computer speakers; fuck wankers that can go 7 weeks (7 weeks!!) without shaving, wear shirts that say "get smashed not", wear threadbare old cunt socks, steal people's assignments, and have scant regard for what other people think of them.. get some self respect; fuck idiots that think they're invincible; fuck intersections; fuck roundabouts; fuck traffic lights; fuck mountains; fuck valleys; fuck plains; fuck university lecturers that have no clue; fuck university lecturers with speech impediments that have even less of a clue; fuck stupid bimbos; fuck crashing; fuck laundry; fuck people that can't see the musical talent oozing out of every pore of tom jones' body; fuck teenybopper music for being so fucking catchy; fuck livin' la vida loca!; fuck the increased categorisation and subcategorisation of all music; fuck me.

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